Wednesday, December 29, 2010


someone said to me

"I'm not sure this going to work, sorry. I don't want to be "hipokrit". are u angry??"

Angry??? Yes..

Deep in my heart said, why u choose to quit before u try?? why did u built it up just to watch it falls??? hipokrit atau tiada pendirian??

FYI, i know the difference. I know very well.......

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I can't hate you anymore..............

An empty room can be so deafening
The silence makes you wanna scream
It drives you crazy
I chased away the shadows of your name
And burned the picture in a frame
But it couldn't save me

And how could we quit something we never even tried
Well you still can't tell me why

We built it up
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn't give you what you need
You walked away
You stole my life
Just to find what you're looking for
But no matter how I try
I can't hate you anymore
...I can't hate you anymore

You're not the person that you used to be
The one I want who wanted me
And that's a shame but
There's only so many tears that you can cry
Before it drains the light right from your eyes
And I can't go on that way
And so I'm letting go of everything we were
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt

We built it up
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn't give you what you need
You walked away
You stole my life
Just to find what you're looking for
But no matter how I try
I can't hate you anymore

Sometimes you hold so tight
It slips right through your hands
Will I ever understand????

We built it up
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn't give you what you need
You walked away
You stole my life
Just to find what you're looking for
But no matter how I try
I can't hate you anymore

p.s.: enough saying......

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


It's hurting me.........bgus lagi x tahu daripada tahu......

bye 2010, welcome 2011

macam tidak percaya pula, 2011 is around the corner. what did i achieved? a lots actually. its all reflect my self-esteem. to me, i classify myself is successful, strong, and keras hati. true enough, my son is my only strength. rasanya klu tiada dia..lama suda ni terjun bangunan yayasan sabah..terjun laut...but Alhamdulillah, sy masih berpijak d bumi yg nyata. Buat apa mengenang kisah lalu, cinta yg tidak kesampaian, mahligai yg diharapkan tidak seindah yg diimpikan. Syukur alhamdulillah, walaupun dugaan getir melanda 2 tahun berturut-turut, kami 2 beranak, masih kuat meneruskan kehidupan. okay! enough with keluh kesah!

so, life must go on! he's happy with his life (more less, i dont care much!) i hope he will let me teruskan hidup. jgn ganggu kami lagi. u just dont deserve us.

hehe..just now, i download 1 application in FB, kinda like it. It list down all my status for 2010..bila baca balik, senyum sendiri...its like a self talk?? hehehe....

Thursday, December 16, 2010

what berry r u???

i recently bought a blackberry. ya lah, mau ikut peredaran zaman lah kononnya. before this, i'm very comfortable with my old phone. its so easy to do the 'multitasking' job (driving + sms'ing).hehehe. but the truth is, i kept telling myself that i cannot accept any technology advancement, in terms on mobile phone, any IT application (except for internet surfing, of course). but, yalah, i want to challenge myself lah....then here i am, using bb....but i dont have time to explore it yet. belum on pun lagi. biar la dulu. habis program guru tadika ni, baru lah mengaktifkan diri......dont ask me for the bbm pin. i do not know where to find it..heheh...

p/s: use skype, jelas, lancar and boleh mengeratkan ikatan...heheheh...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

my "selftalk" for today.

suddenly, i dont know how i should route my mind. there are 15 checklist in my organizer today. i only managed to fulfill ONE. *AMBIL BAJU DARI LAUNDRY* > just because i dont have anything to wear 2moro. for the rest of the bad. otak aku tiba2 "tepu".

For tomorrow, 6 new lists tiba-tiba muncul. So, its going to be 21 lists. huhuhu.....i'm going to have hot shower, pull my blanket, switch off my hp, and sleep. OMG, i need to go and buy pair of shoes. this high heels is killing me. i'm going to meet a few people tomorrow. i need to move fast. run here and there. Aduhh...kereta belum cuci. Ok, tomorrow, before going to sutera habour, i will go and buy a decent shoes. AND, collect my contact lense. The salesgirl keep calling me since last week..."aiyyaaa..miss, ur contact lense smpai suda owwhh" - fyi, my eyes are sensitive, they are only "compatible" to a few brand. Jadi, kadang2 tu terpaksa order. And i really need it right now, since the old one is stucked in my eye. errmmm, i'm not so sure whether terjatuh ataupun "ter" masuk dalam mata. my eye is itchy though....

ok..enough with the "selftalk". i need to go.

P/S: Abang, i'm sorry..

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

i'm angry to you.

here i am!

I'm sitting in a 16 degree temp room right now. Listening to Nelly - Just A Dream. What is on my mind??? Honestly, i kinda stuck. my mind is blocked. i cannot think. and why???? i do not know....honestly.

I'm angry to someone. very badly. i just don't know how to express my anger. but i'm surely, positively, i do not need an anger management counselling. maybe i should pull my blanket and shut my eyes for a few hours..

Saturday, November 27, 2010

i just want to share...

fuhhhh...u know what? as of now, 8.13pm, aku belum pijak rumah lagi since this yesterday. i was away for 2 days, accompanying my friend go jalan-jalan to ranau and etc. we moved from kundasang at 5.30am this morning. and then after that, i moved on to the 1st to do list in my organizer. I got training, called "servicing agent conference". To tell u the truth, i love to attend this kind of program. I love to learn new things. meet new people, exchanging thoughts...well, that will full me. hehehe...

in that conference just now, i've been sorrounded by chinese people. i'm the only one malay inside that room. and everytime, when the speaker giving an example about the material she presented, she keeps asking me "what malay will do?" and me, "struggling" to be outstanding among those attendees and of course to give the "ummmppphh" impression to them, i try to juicying my brain to give the best answer to her....hahahaah!!

ok, i want to share with u all, 1) THERE IS NO SECRET FOR SUCCESS. it is all depends on you. 2) THE LAW OF ATTRACTION - our mind is very powerful. if you start to think negatively, your mind will perceived that negative thoughts and it will be processed as the main objective in your daily routine. (i hope i put the words correctly...hahaha) 3) EDUCATION - my dear friends, if you have too much money in your bank account, syukur, alhamdulillah, so you can inherit the wealth to your children. but please, dont forget to invest in their education. That is one thing that other people cannot "steal" from them. If you inherited them with millions properties, millions cash...people always want to "steal' from them..but, education, in the other hand, is cannot be steal.

well, thats it i can share with you now. actually there is a lot of things in my mind. i need to put them properly on the "shelves" in my brain so that, i can out them into words neatly. see you guys, i need to go home now. restless day it is.....

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

maybe its too many maybe.....

i was trying to sleep just now. this feverish temprature, runny nose, sore throat really kill me. seems like 2 spoon of cough syrup did not affect me at all. i'm immuned to drugs. this coughing, and flu always do their "routine visit" to me every month. when other women having their menses every month, i'm having coughing and flu (plus the menses, of course). my medical allowances has exceeded the limit just because of this cough. hmmmm....i think there is something wrong with my body system. maybe the blood, the water, the fats (wishpering) did not mix very well. then causing my blood flow went crazy "inside". i think, there is a conspiracy inside my body, maybe the "community" inside me is on war. they keep blaming each other for not functioning very well. maybe there is a tank booming at each other. or maybe they were just give up to function because of my eating habit. OOOOO........cut the crap izah.....get back to sleep....good night everyone! muuuuaaahhh!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Love the way you lie.....

the question is "what's so good about being lied to?

No, actually its not. I don't "love" people lied to me. For some reason, i know they're lying but i always find a way, knowing that they're lying to me. and i hate that fact of being lied. very much.

maybe, i "care" that people so much, so i have to accept that they're lying to me. Am i showing that i'm afraid of losing them???????? but, do i have a choice?

enjoy ur day...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Kissin' u.......

for someone out know who you are

Miranda Cosgrove - Kissing U lyrics

Sparks fly it's like electricity
I might die, when I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's no where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops like everything around me is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen

Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you

Past loves they never got very far
Walls of pictures I got in my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this
Till I knew it was right for me
But no one, no guy that I met before
Could make me feel so right and secure
And have you noticed I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love, love

Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you

Lyrics | Miranda Cosgrove lyrics - Kissing U lyrics

Monday, October 25, 2010

Ariff Zakuan.

I have a son. his first word is "sumandak". i need parenting guide???

Thursday, October 21, 2010

everyone need change!

hi everyone (like there is someone reading my post - hahaha!), *think positive izah*. well, its been nearly a month that i haven't post anything in my blog. everytime i started to run my fingers on the keyboard, trying to find ideassss on what-i-should-blogged, my mind stuck. I started thinking, maybe i'm lacked of vitamin C, D, K, (or whatever alphabet it might be). Or maybe i was too concern about what-should-i-blogged thing...hehehe..ok, enough with the crap!

ok, well, new building, the hottest topic of the week! yay! finally, we can moved! when i announced the news of moving to my students, they screamed (well, its not really a scream though) YAY!! but the "yay" is not really express the real "yay", if you know what i was a flat "yay". wuhuhu..lets discuss about the "yay" lah, i'm kidding!

Moving to the new building is really challenging. Tiring. Tiring. hehehe but its worth! Finally, the wait is over. Eventhough, there is some procedures that need to be completed before we "landed" to the new building, and that procedures are sooooooo-sooooo-soooooo inviting for us to slap someone's face!!! hahaha! but like i said, its managable.....

so, what's next? Oh my, i love the "unexpected" thing. hehehe. maybe i should stop now and google some office interior..or, or....nevermind..hehehe. i thing thats it. see you in the next blog. (hopefuly its not in a month time, maybe lesser, or

p/s: the differences between me and her are :
1. we listen to the same song and she doesnt.
2. she did not enjoy your humor like i do
3. she doesnt even know your initial!!
4. well, the most important thing, i know the other side of you!! you're not what she's hoping

thats it, run now!!!

*caution: this blog is for reading pleasure only. no heart feeling ya.....

Friday, October 1, 2010


bila tengok gambar2 convo, teringin mau convo lagi. hmmm...Ya Allah...limpahkan rezeki, panjangkan umurku, kuatkan semangatku, agar aku dapat mencapai cita2 untuk bergelar seorang philosophy doctor...amin...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

it's suck!

its suck when u awake in the middle of the night, a person sleeping next to you, calling someone else's name in his sleep.

Monday, September 27, 2010


semenjak dua menjak ni, sistem antibodi aku semakin lemah...selesma, demam, batuk, mcm suda byk kali melawat...adehhhh....tulung...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


tiba-tiba, semuanya berubah..........100%...............until i don't know how to react...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Santau berpuaka -Telefilem Astro Ria

sebentar tadi, aku baru shj habis menonton telefilem santau berpuaka. i'm not really sure about the title. but this telefilem was played by Aaron Aziz, hero macho singapore. hehehe..(can't wait to see his movie OMBAK RINDU). Anyway, the telefilem was quit interesting. Telefilem ni menceritakan seorang pemuda (Aaron Aziz), yang terkena santau. Dalam crita ni, mamat ni tersangatlah jahat. He dumped his pregnant girlfriend, tidak mahu bertanggungjawab. He back stabbed his bestfriend for an AGM post. He doesn't perform solat. arak dah jadi macam coca cola. Cut the story short, semua org mmg sakit hati gila-gila dgn dia ni. I'm not really sure who actually put a SANTAU on him, but semua orang sudah berpakat nak santaukan dia ni. Mau bagi pengajaran lah konon.

Bila tgok kesudahan cerita ni, aku rasa mcm aku tidak setuju dgn cara cerita ini disampaikan. Kita semua memang tahu yang perbuatan "menyantau" orang ni adalah dosa besar. Syirik. Dalam cerita ni, pembuat santau tu bertujuan untuk menyedarkan pemuda yang jahat tu. To me, apa yang salah tetap salah. Tidak ada pengecualian untuk melakukan SANTAU ke atas sesiapa pun. Bukan hak kita untuk menjatuhkan hukuman atas dosa seorang manusia. itu semua urusan ALLAH. apatah lagi untuk menyantau hidup seorang manusia.

Bagi saya, telefilem ni seolah-olah mengatakan, untuk menyedarkan seseorang, santau itu dibolehkan. Entahlah, mungkin aku yang tidak memahami sepenuhnya jalan cerita sebenar telefilem ini.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

my blog has a new face!

i think, i've spent hours and hours to decorate my blog. for an IT dumber like me, syukur lah apa yg ada. LOL...

Thursday, July 29, 2010


i like to read as much as i enjoy sleeping. hahaha! i read all kinds of books, from non fiction, fiction, bibliography, history, motivation and all kinds of books. Walaupun orang cakap, in this cutting edge era, all the information is at your fingertips, but to me, i still prefer the conservative one, hard copy. hehe..

zaman muda2 dulu, of course, novel-novel menjadi santapan minda yang utama. Kadang2 sggup berlapar semata-mata tidak mahu terlepas dengan cerita2 yang terbaru. ada kalanya, aku terfikir, semua novel yang diterbitkan, semuanya menyajikan jalan cerita yang sama. Kisah cinta yang sama - percintaan yg terhalang, cinta yang bersegi-segi, hilang ingatan, percintaan enggang dengan pipit dan macam2 lagi. kebanyakkannya berakhir dgn happy ending. Namun, aku puji penulis-penulis di malaysia ni, mereka bijak mengatur ayat-ayat dan mengolah cerita hinggakan pembaca-pembaca ada yg mengalirkan airmata. tidak kurang juga yang beremosi yang luar biasa. hehe..ada juga yang jadi pengkritik tetap. ada saja yg tidak kena pada cerita tersebut.

bila sebut pasal emosi membaca novel ni, aku teringat zaman-zaman study dulu. my housemate, huzaila, jey, kak nor, mimie..mereka ni lah yang rajin melawat kedai buku. jadi pemantau novel-novel keluaran baru. hehe..kalau sudah beli novel, rumah jadi sunyi sepi, umpama perpustakaan. dalam sunyi-sunyi tu, ada selingan bunyi-bunyi hingus2 ditarik *can you imagine what i'm talking about??" heheh...adakalanya, terdengar teriakan "kurang a*ar!!!" hehhee...i miss them so much! yang aku ni, akan jadi peminjam...hehehe..sistem barter bah..

aku pernah berkata pada seorang kawan, if i'm in the library, i will be there for more than 6 hours. sampai tidak nampak jalan keluar. hehehe..and, if i'm in the bookshop, its like i'm in the shopping complex. i will visit every shelves, undecided what book i should buy. kadang-kadang tidak sedar masa sudah berlalu.

to me, reading is my passion. i enjoy reading and hopefully i can pass that hobby to my generation.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Lagenda Budak Setan

lagenda budak setan - memberi kesan! :-) aku start baca novel ni time aku form 4, which is 14 years ago. aku masih ingat satu persatu jalan cerita dia. Perrgggghhh!! Buku ni benar-benar buat aku percaya yang cinta itu terlalu indah. Obses? boleh lah juga..hehehe...

Wujud kah lelaki seperti kasyah? perempuan seperti ayu? bila diingat semula kegilaan zaman remaja aku, aku percaya wujudnya Kasyah & Ayu.

Tidak sabar mau tgok wayang ni!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

its been a while...

lama juga aku tak post something dlm ruangan ni. bukan apa, sibuk sikit, entah apa yg aku sibukkan sangat pun aku tak tahu. DISORGANIZE! i think that the reason why i'm rushing on something and i feel that there is something left behind. *what the heck i'm talking about*

last night, i slept around 3am and woke up at 5am, and still awake until now. Alhamdulillah, kuiz n test student semua sudah habis aku periksa. and tugas aku selepas ini ialah memaksa student2 aku utk buat revision. latih tubi dlm kelas. Wahhhhh!! latih tubi aa...heheh..ini tanggungjawab yg berat. bukan apa, berat mata memandang markah2 student aku..heheh..apa2 pun, i wish them good luck for their exam. All the best! siapa2 yg dpt A for my subject, they must belanja me....huhuhu..

dlm kesibukan aku melayan karenah student, dan hal ehwal semasa aku, nasib baik juga ada penghibur hati. for somebody out there, thanks so much! nnt aku belanja makan kfc. sambil tgok kucing parsi aku d Foh Sang. besar suda kali tu kusing...heheh..

bah, i really need to rest my back. saja2 jak bah ni. mau kasi mengantuk mcm makin segar pula. gatal tangan aku mau buat kerja lain....hehehe...

well, mari kita tidur sambil dengar lagu Faizal Tahir - Selamat Malam sayang.......choWWWW!

Friday, March 26, 2010


PAPERCUT - Jordin Sparks

I’m okay, I’m okay
Don’t keep asking me I might disintegrate
What do you want? I’ve moved on
Everything is going well, at least that’s what I tell myself
I wish I was the tin man, so I wouldn’t have a heart to break.

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half of the time
All these tears, all these drops in the ocean baby
You barely even cross my mind no, no
And it doesn’t hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut... (yeah)

I forget that it’s there
You keep calling and calling, you don’t care
How it burns, how it stings
Just cause you can’t see it bleed
Doesn’t mean it don’t go deep
I wish I was the tin man, so I wouldn’t have a heart to break.

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half of the time
All these tears, all these drops in the ocean baby
You barely even cross my mind no, no
and it doesn’t hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut

The more I give, the less I get
Sometimes I wish that we’ve never met
’Cause I was fine ‘til you broke through
But don’t worry baby I'll get over you...
By tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day

I’m okay, I’ll be fine.
I only think about you half the time
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

I’m okay, I’ll survive.
I only think about you half of the time

All these tears, all those drops in the ocean baby
You never even cross my mind no, no
Boy you wish it hurt that much
It was only a paper cut
It’s only a paper cut, a paper cut
I’m okay, I’m okay

Friday, March 19, 2010

Bila rasaku ini rasamu.........

Bila Rasaku ini Rasamu - Kerispatih

aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu
dan tak pernah ku sesali itu
seluruh jiwa telah kuserahkan
menggenggam janji setiaku
ku mohon jangan jadikan seperti
alasan kau menyakitiku
meski pun cintamu tak hanya untukku
tapi cobalah sejenak mengerti

bila rasaku ini rasamu
sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya
terkhianati cinta yang kau jaga
coba bayangkan kembali
betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih
semua telah terjadi

aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu

bukan kamu yg menentukannya!

perasaan aku amat berkecamuk sejak kebelakangan ini. Umur meningkat? i have to agree with that. :-) anyway, susah juga mau cakap. klu cakap lebih-lebih nanti ada org kecil hati. klu ckp lebih2, ada org yg akan salah faham. Mereka yg tidak faham ni, kadang-kadang akan bertindak di luar fikiran mereka. Perasaan org lain tolak ke tepi. Tiada erti bagi mereka yg penting hati mereka bahagia.

so, untuk org2 yg mementingkan diri sendiri tu, good luck. mungkin mereka rasa itu yg terbaik untk mereka. Well, aku tidak mendoakan kesengsaraan hidup mereka dan tidak pula mendoakan kebahagiaan mereka. terpulanglah kepada Tuhan untuk menentukan nasib mereka. Buat jahat dibalas jahat, bukan begitu??

aku salah? maaf. aku mmg pernah menyakiti hati org lain sbb mereka menyakiti hati aku. sometimes, there is time that i reached my limit. sabar ada had, kesabaran ni bukan sesuatu yang dibuat2.

so, aku happy atau sedih, itu hak aku. bukan kamu yang menentukannya...............

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Betul-betul Durjana!!

Belum pun reda berita kematian yang menyayat hati Arwah adik Syafia Humairah, timbul lagi cerita penderaan kanak-kanak yang melibatkan kanak-kanak lelaki yang berumur 18 bulan.

Dikala jari-jemari saya mengetuk papan kekunci komputer riba menulis cerita ini, dada saya masih panas dan berdetak kencang. Seribu satu perasaan yang menyelubungi hati saya. terasa macam nak berteriak, "APA NAK JADI DENGAN MANUSIA SEKARANG!!!!"

kiranya ada hukuman yang lebih teruk dari hukuman mati, sayalah orang yang pertama berada dihadapan menyokong usul tersebut. serasa saya, ada baiknya org yang berperangai mengalahkan binatang ini dibunuh 100 kali. arrgggghhh!! ianya masih belum mencukupi!!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Don't ask me why i like lilies!

I love lilies..especially white lily. Don't know why, i just love it very much. Maybe because i don't like roses so i choose lilies. heheh...possible jugak!

That's it!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dugaan itu Indah

I love reading. Bagi aku, membaca bukanlah satu hobby tapi satu amalan hidup. Aku hairan bila ada insan2 yg tidak suka membaca tapi aku tidak salahkan mereka kerana ada di antara golongan yg "tidak minat" membaca ini lebih suka mendengar. And they're a good listener. Entahlah, itu hak masing-masing untuk menentukannya. Bagi aku, pembacaan tidak terhad kepada buku semata-mata. Pembacaan melalui paparan maya pun salah satu alternatif untuk aku meneroka. Dan aku merasakan, pembacaan jenis ini amat efektif dan berkesan.

Sebentar tadi, aku ada terbaca sepotong kata-kata hikmah daripada sebuah buku yg dihadiahkan oleh kawan baikku. Thanks Rina. (Pssstt..round ke-3 suda sy baca buku ni..heheh..). Buku tulisan Dr. 'Aidh Bin 'Abdullah Al-Qarni.

Kata-kata "bekalan" itu berbunyi:

Aku tidak mampu mengubah masa lalu dan aku sekarang tidak mampu untuk mengetahui apa yang bakal terjadi pada masa mendatang. Untuk itu, mengapa aku harus menyesali masa lalu dan merasa cemas dengan masa mendatang???

Bila fikir balik, betul jugakan??? Biarlah Allah yang menentukan segalanya. DIA tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Bila kita rasa apa yang kita ada sekarang itu yang terbaik, bersyukurlah. Namun jika berlaku sebaliknya, redha dan yakin hikmah Allah sentiasa ada di sisi kita. Allah datangkan dugaan kerana DIA tahu kita mampu menghadapinya. Bersyukurlah kerana dugaan dari Allah itu satu nikmat dan itu tandanya DIA "ingat" pada kita :-)

Monday, February 8, 2010

tipu menipu

kadang-kadang aku terfikir, kenapa org harus menipu. they don't think what other will feel. Dunia ni kecil, pusing-pusing pun kita akan jumpa org yg sama. Rasa sakit yg teramat sakit bila tahu diri kita diperkotak-katik, macam kita ni tiada perasaan dan bodoh. Apa sangatlah utk beritahu kebenaran yg ada. Tiada manusia yang akan makan manusia. Saya amat pantang bila ditipu. Rasa mau menyumpah, memaki but i know my limits....Allah itu maha adil......

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Sebentar tadi saya membeli senaskah majalah tempatan. Sangat jarang sekali untuk saya membeli majalah, apa jua jenis majalah. Saya rasakan ianya membazir. Dalam perjalanan pulang selepas mengambil pesanan gelang kristal, saya terpandang sebuah majalah. Antara tajuk yang dipaparkan di muka hadapan majalah tersebut adalah berbunyi "Jangan Tunggu Esok untuk Memaafkan". Well, utk pengeluar majalah tersebut, saya ucapkan tahniah kerana berjaya menghasilkan satu tajuk yang "catchy" dan mampu menarik perhatian orang yang "tidak minat" terhadap majalah.

Selepas membeli majalah tersebut, saya terus membelek helaian demi helaian dlm majalah tersebut. Saya baca satu persatu. Well, everybody has their own perception on how to forgive and to ask a forgiveness.

Pada saya, perkataan maaf itu merupakan satu perkataan yang paling suci. Reason?? because its involve other people or other living creatures. "MAAF" bagi saya, kita minta bila kita benar-benar perlukannya, dan bukan untuk suka-suka. Kita memohon maaf bukan hanya utk menyenangkan hati org yg kita memohon kemaafan tapi sekaligus kita berjanji untuk tidak mengulangi perbuatan yang menyakitkan itu.

Saya pernah disakiti. dan sampai sekarang saya masih belum dapat memaafkan orang itu sepenuhnya. Ego?? oh tidak! Mungkin sebab kesalahan yang telah dia lakukan terlalu besar dan ianya melibatkan banyak hati. Saya harus berfikir secara rasional dan sememangnya keputusan saya tidak lari dari mengandungi 1% emosional atau lebih tapi tidak lebih dari 5%. Keras hati?? Juga tidak. Mungkin inilah saya. Dont blame me for being who i am.