Thursday, November 10, 2011

Once in a while.....

Ok, here we go again. It's been a while i didn't make any entry to my blog. Aku malas sebenarnya..malas mau berfikir. I would love to enjoy my daily life as simple as it can be.

Once in a while, aku suka clock out sharp pkul 5pm. Pura-pura lupa bawa my gym attire, pura-pura lupa that I have to do my routine at the gym. Then, balik rumah, enjoying my shower, then sleep very early. Or my cuddling my books. Baca novel-novel yg makin berhabuk atas meja, lama sudah tidak bersentuh. I would love to do that....

Once in a while, aku suka clock our sharp at 5pm. Then direct to shopping mall, doing my window shopping. Beli kasut, beli kasut, beli kasut...heheheh...i just love shoes very much. Then, belek-belek baju d G2000, Padini, SCS....kadang2 tu, telan air liur sja lah now, i'm controlling my budget towards barang2 yang "kurang berguna" hehehe...(I just bought 180 colors MAC palette make-up and its brush set...sorry, I just can't help myself...) My last purchase suda ni....(as i promised to azli --- hahahahah)

Once in a while, aku mau clock out sharp at 5pm. Heading direct to swimming pool, praktis my kuak lentang and gaya me on that! Its been a while aku tdk pi swimming pool. Rasa2nya, mencari juga pak cik security tu sama aku. almost 4 months aku tidak swimming. Snorkeling jgn cerita lah, mau dekat setahun suda aku tdk snorkeling....

Once in a while, I want to hide under my blanket. Pretending that there is no "noise" surrounding me...pretending that i'm the only voice that I can hear and listen to....pretending that I didn't saw what have been happening in front of me. Pretending that I can't remember all those bad memories...pretending that I have amnesia, pretending to not knowing you. Goshhh!! I wish i could say the words "Do i know you? Sorry, aku tidak kenal ko....." I wish, otak kita ni mcm komputer, boleh format, delete mana2 memory yang kita tidak mahu........

But, I realize. Memang ada "Once in a while..." but no pretending. semua yg jadi, ada hikmahnya...insyaallah...Skrg, kita mulakan hidup baru dengan orang baru. Hopefully, everything will go well. Insyaallah....Doakan kebahagiaan kami....

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I'll be the one -- (You're the one....)

"I'll Be The One"

Imagine that your heart would beat for me
you know that I'm waiting patiently
till you're by my side
every day; every night
baby you're the one I need can't you see
you know my heart is beating just for you
baby I don't seem to find the clue
to be by your side
every day and every night
but I feel my heart is aching without you

Maybe I'll be the one
if you want me here to stay
Maybe I'll be the one
to guide you all the way
No I'm never gonna hurt you
you're always on my mind
and I'll be the one untill the end of time

Sure there is a way for you and me
together and forever it will be
I'll be by your side
every day and every night
but I'll feel my heart is aching without you

Maybe I'll be the one
if you want me here to stay
Maybe I'll be the one
to guide you all the way
No I'm never gonna hurt you
you're always on my mind
and I'll be the one until the end of time

Friday, October 28, 2011

LENA AF9 - Sisa Kisah Kita dengan lirik | with lyric

I don't really like the video clip but I like this song very much :)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Tiada yg sempurna

"Aku bukan mencari kesempurnaan...tapi aku mencari pelengkap ketidaksempurnaan..."

Friday, October 21, 2011

....someone like you.....

Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said, "sometimes it lasts in love, sometimes it hurts instead.."

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

panas memanas!

Tukar nama lah ni kalau selalu saja memanas...hehehehe....

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Forgetful Izah....yes, she is.

Well, quite a catchy title, isn't it? hehehe...Actually, let me put it this way, not forgetful, but confuse..and pelupa juga kadang2.

Take for example, yesterday was my first class for Entreprenuership. So, i went to the class. In my mind, my class is at West 3. But, I went to East 3! God! I can't even differentiate which one is west and which one is east!

Aku juga selalu binggung dengan "kanan" dan "kiri". Bila si kawan driving and need directions, i always tertukar kanan dan kiri. When we supposed to go left, i will say it, "masuk kanan...". bikin bergaduh juga ni...hehe...apa boleh buat...aku slalu sesat d KK....aduii....teruk aku ni kalau benda2 yang melibatkan direction. heheheh...Thats why, kalau sda buat janji dgn org, i always coming up early. bukan apa..takut sesat...hehehe...

And I always forgot about date. even my own birthday..hehehe...last month is Azli's birthday, I sms him on 1 September, and asked him "its your birthday tomorrow or the day after tomorrow..?" Well, there is a big different between 2 and 3 right??? how am i suppose to differentiate aku kna sound...relaks sja dia reply "Tiada birthday aku tahun ni...tahun depan kali ada..." Aku diam, sama ada mau ketawa atau tidak. but, finally, i remember, its on 2nd Sept. hehehe....sorry, my dear...

Okey..itu masih boleh dimaafkan. Last few months ago, masa first time jumpa setelah berbelas tahun tidak jumpa, we went for a date somewhere...well, aku knal dia by his nickname coe. I'm trying to remember his real name but i can't recall his real name. Mau tidak mau, i asked, "Siapa nama betul ko tu, coe?".....there is silence on his face. berkerut dia tinguk aku..."ko nda ingat nama aku???, teruknya ko ni..." Seriously, i laughed. and i'm deadly serious that i forgot his real name.....hancur....bah, how am i supposed to remember, i met thousands new people in a year (well, that quite exaggerating, hundreds maybe...). And, I said to him..."Sorry, i've just got my brain-reformatting, maybe your details are broken and can't be fixed, but its always good to install a new information, right..??" hehehehe.....

Now, i'm trying to pick up things that evolve around me, trying to remember little things. Kadang-kadang, benda-benda kecil ni yang buat kita happy. But, we always have a good joke on that "Siapa nama betul kau tu?"- thingy..heheheh. Well, thats me, Izah, selamat berkenalan....FYI, there is a lot more to come, bukan sekadar pelupa...byk lagi. bear with me, will you?

Monday, October 3, 2011

New semester has started!

Okayy....semangat! new semester has started few weeks ago. I started my new semester with a very positive energy. I want my students to pass with flying colours! of course. Tidak kisah lah kalau ada student yang tidak mahu bagi kerjasama. Yang penting, aku sampaikan ilmu yang sepatutnya pada mereka, without thinking any reimbursement from them. Well, i love my job. Walaupun ada yang terpaksa aku ulang beribu-ribu kali. kadang-kadang pandai juga hilang sabar, tapi itulah lumrah sebagai pendidik.....hopefully, ilmu yang aku sampaikan boleh buat bekalan di akhirat kelak...amin...

so, as usual. I teach International Business and Entrepreneurship for Diploma and Bachelor students. i started my class last week. normally, during first lecture, i will discuss the Do's and Don't in my class. I'm very flexible. Most of my students will get an A for my subject. Yalah, dorang suda bayar sanggup tgok dorang dapat C or below. But! That A must come with some conditions 1) Attend lecture 2) Do your assignment 3) Sit for your tests 4) Behave in my class. thats all! mudah kan?

So, this third quarter of 2011, i'm kinda busy with a lot of things...doakan semoga aku boleh melalui fasa terakhir tahun 2011.....aminnnn......

Thursday, September 29, 2011

This is just a saying.....

"I'm not sure if its you I fall in love with....but I'm sure I fall in love with your family........"

Monday, September 12, 2011

my short trip to kl

@ BoraOmbak

part of the gazebo @ BoraOmbak

the skies are blue, greatest feeling :)

but it was raining when we were about to land :(

my travel companion :)

Ok, its 12.11 am. I have just finished mandi, and packed everything in my super duper little hand carry bag. Hehehe..first time datang KL bawa beg kecil. And of course, I have to control myself of not doing a heavy shopping..muahahaha..well, fyi, this is my shortest trip to KL. Satu mlm sahaja. my last trip to kl was in July, before puasa. now, dtg lg balik for a one day training at Petaling Jaya, in our main campus. 10 of us were selected to this training. We stayed in Prescott Hotel, very near to SOGO and monorail station. Eventhough this is my shortest trip but I managed to go to SOGO (ni mmg wajib ni), KLCC, Bukit Bintang, Lot 10 (menyesal pi sini..heheh), Sungei Wang...and Ampang Point..hehhe...memang cover habis. I planned to go to Pavillion tapi.....janganlah...(mengelak diri daripada Coach..hehehe).

So, i want to talk about dinner. My bestfriend brought me to BoraOmbak. The place is very beautiful....damn beautiful...honestly, its romantic...cozy...except for the live band offense but, i dont like the live band. Klu tempat tu tidak ramai org dtg, salahkan live band dia..hehehe! anyway, my first impression to this restoran is..superb...mcm ala-ala bali...hehehe...*teringin mau pi Bali for honeymoon* its so romantic. we were headed to a gazebo, very nice gazebo with white curtain, cozy cushion. I should have take picture of that place, but my camera gone flat...damn! i managed to take a few picture though...

I have so much story to tell but i'm very sleepy and tired. I have to wake up early tomorrow, catching ERL to Petaling jaya....seriously, aku susah hati memikirkan aku terpaksa berlari-lari dgn kasut tinggi tu....ok lah...need to shut down now...sleeppyyy.....good night everyone....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Berdua Bersatu Forteen(Official Video) pula lagu ni. The other day, aku tercari-cari siapa yg menyanyi lagu ni. The lyrics are simple. I don't like the video though...klu video tu ada drama lagi best....

Monday, September 5, 2011

Sorry - not the hardest word to say...

Trust me...
Sorry is not the hardest word to say..

I'm sorry for being such a jerk, stubborn, psycho-dramatic person
I'm sorry that i hurt your feelings
I'm sorry for being a person you don't want me to be
I'm sorry for being irrational person
I'm sorry for not being there when u needed me the most
I'm sorry for the harsh words that came out from my mouth
I'm sorry for the "Go! I don't want you here!"

The truth is I really want you here
I want to hold your hand
Asking for your forgiveness
Feels your warm lips kisses my forehead and say "I forgive you..."

Saturday, September 3, 2011

its fighting time!!

ok, its suck! i have been in a million fight with him but i think this time is the worst. i know, i'm not really good in "discussion" thingy but i know i'm really good in keeping it for myself. i don't know how to express my unjustified feeling, i don't know how to vomit all my anger, all i can say to him is..."go!! i don't want u here!!" tears??? i failed that too...maybe i'm just too strong to cry it out. its just too hard to hold your patient when things getting harder and harder. its just too hard to communicate when things get messy and unfolded. sorry should not be saying when u have the intention to repeat the same mistake. i'm tired to fix things right, i'm tired to listen the same thing over and over is not a pass for u to hurt me...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Ok, hi. its been a while I did not post anything in this column. Well, kadang2 I cannot cope with other works. (Yaaa...right..) hehe..So, how was your raya preparation? Me? Thanked God, I have done my raya shopping earlier than what I normally do. I just doesn't want things will get crowded and messy kalau buat last2 minit. and yeaaa!! i managed to look for a tailor yang sanggup jahit baju aku for the last minute. Theme color? hmmm...we didn't have exact theme color..i don't know, just that, we're different. Well, we walk our life colorfully. Tidak kisah lah if he wanted to wear blue, purple or anything. yg penting we're together this hari raya. and tidak kisah lah where we will be on hari raya pertama, yang penting, we're together. I'm thankful for that, sangat bersyukur. Me changed?? Ya...clearly...for the better I think. He managed to shape (kind of) me to another better woman.

Well, its not that i'm not good before this, but this time, i'm better than last time you saw me. wahhhh.....heheheh...seriously. Trust me...hehehe...even though, "kadang-kadang" (my other word for SELALU) me and azli macam living in the two different worlds. When i said it black, he will definitely said white. When I want to eat PIZZA, he wants to eat NASI CAMPUR (grrrrrr). When I want to watch GLEE, he wants to watch MAHARAJA LAWAK. When I want to get some sleep, he wants to go jalan-jalan. When I want to go for karaoke, he wants to go for a movie. And, we listened to different kind of song. And, I'm a Pisces, he is a Virgo, thats totally breaking the rules of horoscope match-making. hahahah!! Anyway, still, I love him. and so do him. Despite of all the differences....we still laugh at the same joke...we still support the same football team (eheemmm, manchester united), we still think that pink is a girly color...we still think that Kek Tong Hing juga yg paling sedap, heheheh...and the most sweetest thing is, we have the same thought of having each other in our life.

i think the differences make us strong. i mean, there are something we can argue about, right? when there is an argument, it will follow by apology, in that apology, it will contain ayat2 yang paling manis...i think that is what we are falling of......kita mesti berfikiran positif, perbezaan bukan penentu kebahagiaan (punya gagal bahasa melayu aku..hehehe). sometimes, it will keeps us close..real close....

Okey! i want to drink a me, azli, and all the differences......heheheh..hope the differences will compliment each other in our life...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Beyoncé - Halo


Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again
Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Evanescence - My Immortal (Video)

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

As time goes by....

Ok, second day of Puasa. Alhamdulillah, so far so good. Hopefully, dikurniakan kesihatan yg baik sepanjang bulan puasa. Alhamdulillah, my cough is getting better, my flu has disappeared, thanks to pemakanan yg sihat as advised from the specialist..hehe..

Well, for the past few weeks, my emotions are very unstable. Keep going ups and downs. But, it doesn't mean that I don't care. There was the time that I ignored, sms, phone calls, but it doesn't mean I didn't miss you. Just that, I'm too selfish to myself. Sometimes, I need space for my own. Space for me to think, space for me to pamper myself, space for me to talk to myself. Sorry, sorry and sorry so much for ignoring you for 2 weeks or more. Ngeehhh.....thanks sebab jadi penyabar. thats why i said, I cannot promise you a relationship without arguments, but I PROMISE you, as long as u trying to cope with me, I'll stay. Mark my words!

So, now its the time for both of us...alone...creating our own space. I'm thinking of pre wedding photoshoot!! I'd discussed this with my niece, who are very well trained in this photo taking thingy, she agreed!!! And hope she'll not charge me..hehehe..pok FOC sja ni...Well, I have not discussed this with Azli yet, but hope he will agree! *finger crossed*. Venue? Theme? I'm thinking of a place where we first met...heeee....sekolah menengah..aku terfikir mau pakai baju skolah balik. hahahaha! have to find a size for both of us. terpaksa potong baju ni. bestnya tu, mengimbas kenangan di Koperasi, library, dewan makan....adehhhhh....well, hope it goes well, i will post the pictures here, of course.

Honeymoon? macam mau merasa salji ni kali..teringin juga mau pi snorkeling...well, thats the thing we will discuss during creating our own space...hehehehe!

Missing you is my hobby,
Caring for you is my job,
Make you happy is my duty,
And loving you is my life......

Izah, xoxo....

Thursday, July 28, 2011

When things become tense and emotional....

I hate to be in the position of choosing who and who come first. I hate when i have to explain every detail of my movement, and sometimes it will force me to lie or should I say white-lie? And suddenly, that situation made me tensed, I can't think properly, words that came out from my mouth were unorganized, I stammered. I don't want to be in that kind of situation. It 100%, totally, definitely, make me miserable. Or, can I use the harsh word?? Yeah, fucking miserable!

P/S: ignore the "F" word, its just a word, don't take it seriously.....

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

when things become the things we don't want it to be...

"I can't promise you a perfect relationship without arguments and differences. However, i can promise you as long as you're trying, I'm staying...Please bear with me..."

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

when there is nothing much to say.....

Ok, i started my week with sleepy eyes. I feel very tired. Tidak tau pula apa yg buat aku penat ni. penat berfikir, penat kerja, penat itu, penat ini....I went to KL last week, just for a few days. Then, maybe off to Kuching in few weeks time. Well, I love being everywhere, nasib baik pasangan hidup aku saaaaanngggattt memahami. walaupun kadang-kadang, ada juga keluar ayat2 yg kurang menyenangkan, but, life is like that, I mean, aku terima semua kebaikan dan keburukan, sebab apa yg dia cakap pun berasas dan munasabah. So, aku terima dengan hati yang terbuka. Kalau bukan dia, siapa lagi yang tegur kan...but biralah semua teguran dibuat dgn akal yang rasional. Apa pun, i have to respect him more than anyone else in this whole world.

Well, when there is nothing much to say, i just want to lie down. shut my eyes and sleep. hopefuly, smua persengketaan akan lenyap. Semua salah faham akan hilang. All lies will fade away....I just want to be what we should be.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Its really hard to say "We're not meant to be..."
Its even harder to say "I've found someone else..."
Its the hardest thing to say "I'm getting married..."

No matter hard it is, no matter cruel your words would be, honesty should be taken in the first place.

Sorry, for the broken-heart
Sorry, for the tears u cried

Its a closure...and its ended peacefully...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bila saya jadi separuh dari kamu.....

Bila saya jadi separuh daripada kamu
Suara saya jauh berbatu-batu
Keputusan saya menjadi kaku
Akal saya semakin bercelaru…

Bila saya jadi separuh daripada kamu
Kata-kata saya menjadi beku
Setiap kesalahan, saya terpaksa mengaku
Seakan-akan saya yang selalu melulu
Tinggal tepi segala laku

Bila saya jadi separuh daripada kamu
Bahagia itu saya tak tahu
Mungkin itu andaian saya untuk usir segala keliru

Bila saya jadi separuh daripada kamu
Meja bulat jadi persegi seribu
Kata mereka, kamu buat tak tahu
Kata sendiri tetapi utuh
Itulah kamu…………………………………………

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

my crush! :D

Ok, this is weird. hehe..i found picture of us many years ago. I should say 14 years ago. Thats is really long time ago. Hahaha! Such a sweet memories. Well, mestilah sweet bila tngok size kami waktu tu. nearly 1/3 dari apa yg ada sekarang. Hahaha! So good to reminisce those time when we were young and happy. We laughed and laughed about it. Well, i'm happy to be with him. i'm glad that i found him. Thank you Allah for giving me chances to love him more. Actually, ada a few lagi gmbar lama kami tp terlalu buruknya la bah muka masa tu. hahaha....well, ini yg aku rasa ok siiiikitttt...hmmm...i wonder whats was inside those bag. mcm byk saja barang2 di dalam. hahaha! when we found this picture, we were asking to each other this question "what went wrong that time?" ---- senang saja kesimpulan yg kami buat....takdir yg menentukan..yeahhh...think positive bah...hehehe...

Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 4, 2011

My weekends!

Ok, i never been to any keramaian-keramaian such as Jom Heboh, tamu besar, or anything yang melibatkan perkara-perkara yg ramai-ramai. Well, I'm not really keen to be in the place with crowded people, shopping complex pun aku maaaalasss sangat mau berkunjung. I go to that kind of place bila perlu, when i want to buy something, when i need a new pair of shoes, shoes, shoes again..hahaha! *seriously* Well, i am serious!! hahaha!

So, last two weekends, IN A ROW, (please...). i was dragged to Jom Heboh. (Yaaa, tell me about it!!). Well, I love him if not, tidaklah aku sanggup bersesak-sesak, parking jauh-jauh, pening-pening menahan bau badan orang..adeehhhh. Opppsss, I missed out a little detail, we were there for two days!! First day, tgok-tgok orang bejualan kunun, tapi yg bejual mcm tdk sampai 10 gerai. then, on the second day, we were there for the concert. Even though, we only can see the screen, we were at the veryyyyyy back of the crowd. Aku dengar org belakang aku becakap, "baik lagi tani meliat tv d rumah..." okeeeyyy....I second that..huhuhu..penat lagi tu masa tu, kami direct from Ranau to kk, tidak makan, tidak minum, terus pi konsert. hmmmm....aku ni insan penyabar....

then, last weekend, i was at Pesta Gata, Sipitang with my man his little boy..itupun, actually, mcm terpaksa rela..hahhahah!!! sorry, darling. We visited the lansaran, walaupun aku ragu2 dengan ketahanan kayu2 yang dorang pakai untuk gagau-gagau..hehehe..but thank God, i survived. hehehe! But, honestly, it was fun, really fun!

Secara jujurnya, its not really about the occasion but the most happiest thing is bila bersama-sama dengan orang tersayang. That will make me happy the most!

Bah...its raining here in KK...sangat lebat. Okay, i got new template for my blog. FYI, that is definitely not my legs. hahahaha! mine are prettier...heheheh...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Peluang kedua....

Few months back I have posted something about MAAF, bila aku terlalu 'kedekut' untuk memberi kemaafan, hati aku terlalu hancur hinggakan merit untuk aku beri kemaafan tu ZERO! SIFAR! Yes, i'm angry, sakit hati, benci, dendam, semua terkumpul menjadi satu. Ambil masa untuk aku beri kemaafan. Bila tiba masa untuk dia layak untuk mendapat kemaafan, then aku maafkan. Me who will decide whether he deserves it or not. But suddenly, after me and coe had a long chat last night, then i realize, tiada guna kita marah, sakit hati, benci sebab tanpa kita sedari, perasaan tu memakan diri sendiri...menyusahkan diri sendiri...

I have been sick for the past few months, for more than a year, to be exact. Batuk, selesma, demam, sakit tekak...sekejap baik, then datang lagi...berlarutan sampai berbulan2. Sampaikan bermacam-macam sudah petua yang orang bagi. Jumpa doktor jangan cakaplah..memang aku ni pengunjung setia..sampai medical allowances exhausted sampai negative! fuhh....

but, after a long chat with azli last night, betul-betul buat aku berfikir...

He said, "mungkin ada unfinished business dengan sesiapa mungkin, pasal tu slalu sakit..cuba buka hati untuk memaafkan orang lain...sebab kita tidak sedar, sebenarnya itu yang menjadi beban di bahu...makan diri sendiri..sebab kita tidak merelakan kemaafan tu...bukan hak kita untuk "hold" maaf tu. itu hak Allah..kita manusia, selemah-lemah iman kita, kita mesti maafkan orang lain, baru hidup kita tenang. apa yang dia sudah buat sama kita, itu terpulang pada Allah untuk menentukan balasan yang setimpal untuk dia...kita redha saja...semua berlaku ada hikmah di me..."

kata-kata dia tu buat aku berfikir. ada betulnya. mcm mana kalau betul? no harm done for forgiving someone right? ishtikharah...solat hajat...solat taubat...lapangkan hati...buang smua perasaan dendam dan benci...

Ya Allah...syukur alhamdulillah...kini aku sedar hikmah di sebalik semua kelukaan, kesedihan, kehancuran, Kau berikan aku yang lebih baik dan yang terbaik. Alhamdulillah....

Friday, June 17, 2011

seriously, i'm unwell :(

Ok, i'm unwell. Its not good. Seriously! I'm not comfortable of having a liquid things running out from my nose. Mata berair...hidung berair...i keep sneezing from last night...i'm not well....please take this away from me..

but when i look at the bright side, there are a few good things happened when i'm not well (I don't want to use word "sick", just 'not well")

1. I can reduce my consumption on electricity - i didn't turned on my aircond since yesterday :)

2. I can reduce my consumption on water - i was advised by "Dr. Azli" (ketawa gulik-gulik kali dia baca ni) supaya jangan mandi malam....nasihat dia, jgn mandi malam...karang masuk air kunun paru-paru...*mengkali* hahahahahha!!

3. When i keep sneezing, aku secara automatik will say "alhamdulillah" which is a ver good thing. berzikir juga aku sepanjang hari. syukur...

4. kawan cakap, klu kita sakit, thats mean, Allah ingat dengan kita..thats why Dia bagi kita sakit supaya kita sentiasa ingat Allah. Syukur alhamdulillah...

5. Bila sakit, aku turut menyumbang kepada ekonomi negara, bagi pendapatan sama medical coverage mcm mau habis suda ni..terpaksa pi klinik government suda lepas ni...syukur, alhamdulillah...

6. bila sakit, aku prefer stay di rumah. layan TV, layan DVD, layan internet, twitter dan yg berkaitan. Ini aktiviti yg sangat menjimatkan..hohoho!

7. normally when i'm sick, selera makan pun kurang sebab tdk dpt rasa makanan., jimat juga, tdk payah makan dan boleh lose weight! kahkahkah!

Bah...i need sleep. ubat batuk dan selesma buat aku drowsy!!

p/s: thanks "doctor". Love u to bits!

Thursday, June 16, 2011


yeaaa!! tomorrow is friday. well, i really looking forward to Friday. Who doesn't love Friday right?? hehehehe. i have so much things to do this weekend. We going to have Kaamatan Celebration here in Unirazak, i will be one of the judges of Unduk Ngadau. Inilah first time aku jadi judge unduk ngadau..hehehe! well, there is always a-first-time moment for everything kan?? after that function, me and coe will go viewing some houses (again!). we were doing this for so long already. but, still, we have not meet the right house yet. just not yet. but we'll keep looking, like what i said to him.."slowly, take it easy...ada juga tu nanti.." *finger crossed* so, anyone, who have house for sale, just let me know.

ok, i have 20 minutes more before my class starts. apa lagi aaa?? oh ya...congratulations to my bestfriend..Rina, who recently gave birth to the cutest baby boy in the world!! Shaheem Reza! what a cool name. We will going to visit her and the baby this weekend. ramai kawan-kawan beranak bulan jun ni. ohh..not forgetting, to my future sister in-law yg tinggal tunggu hari lagi. kakak doakan smua selamat..aminnn.....

ok..thats all! i'm really have mood to write something now, tapi my students are waiting :p heheheh!!

p/s: sebelum cakap pasal org lain, tgok diri sendiri dulu, ngam kah tidak...heheheh! enjoy your thursday night everyone!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

i'm not sick. just a bit unwell :(

Senarai penyakit c Izah pada bulan Jun...
- sakit tekak
- severe sinus
- sakit kepala
- sakit gigi
- malas mandi
- malas berfikir
- malas mau cari gaduh
- malas bangun pagi
- malas masak
- malas cuci kain
- malas cuci kereta (mcm dr bulan january lg kereta ku maintain color oren cmpur cokelat)
- malas mau jadi insan peramah
- malas lipat selimut
- malas lipat kain (smua pun main sangkut sja)
- malas wipe off mekap (terus tidur..)
- tiba-tiba aku rajin pi family recreation centre (join c ariff naik Doraemon, bus mini..etc)
- aku suda malas baca buku. (i have 4 novels yg belum kna baca..)
- tiba-tiba aku rajin baca buku resipi, tapi nda juga pandai2 memasak..
- suddenly aku pandai meninguk cerita Raja Lawak...pandai ketawa-ketawa lagi tu...
- suddenly, i dont feel like to watch How i met your mother. (susah mau berebut channel sbnrnya..)

byk sebenarnya penyakit baru aku yg timbul semenjak dua menjak ni...i still want to figure out why? who caused it? when exactly its started to happen.....

p/s: if u have 2 seperate FB account, can u please do not "friend" ur own other account?? its will blow everything up... (tiada kaitan kan..but i still want to write it down...heheheheh)


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A: Sampai Bila? B: Sampai tiada........

A: Kenapa?
B: Nothing, saja tertanya-tanya...
A: Kenapa tertanya-tanya?
B: Entah, runsing kali...
A: Kenapa mesti runsing?
B: Mungkin ada rasa takut....
A: Takut? Why should you?
B: Nothing, just maybe....terlalu banyak kemungkinan
A: Jadi, macam mana? teruskan?
B: I don't about you?
A: Aku mau teruskan...I want to see the ending of this story....
B: Ok, kita teruskan...I want to see the ending of this story too...
A: Sampai bila....?
B: Sampai tiada........

-- Thats how it goes. Our conversation is simple. its just a matter of understand each other. we both have the same goal. We want to see the ending of this story. You don't get it do you? but that's us. thats how we communicate. Only him and me can understand :) Like what he said "Simple make things beautiful..."

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Tanya hati, jangan tanya akal

Perselisihan faham itu lumrah. Terpulang pada kita, how to handle that argument. Sometimes, an argument dikatakan dapat mengeratkan hubungan. In such a way that, couple will realize how they need each other when they're away from each other and no phone calls, no "good morning, cinta" sms, no "good night, mimpi aku" sms. That really are killing! LOL.

But our recent argument, really open my eyes and it make me realize how much i need him. Every words he said really "knocked" my head. Dengan tenang, dia cakap "tanya hati, jangan tanya akal sebab akal akan menipu...". I silent, for a few seconds. and I murmured, I need you. Seriously, i didn't planned it all....for some reason, i really asked my heart. and my that was heart who "answered" his question. Tell u the truth, it was amazing......

Seriously, i never thought this relationship will work but now, i really want to make it happened. No matter what happened, hopefuly, dengan izin Allah, I really want to make this happened.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Get it right (i just want to fix it somehow)

What have I done
I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down
'Coz my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just want to fix it somehow
But how many times will it take
how many times will it take for me
To get it right, To get it right

Can I start again
With my faith shaken
'Cuz I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay
And face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down
'Cuz my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just want to fix it somehow
But how many times will it take
But how many times will it take for me
To get it right

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
I sent out wish, I sent up a prayer
Then finally someone will see how much I care

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down
Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just want to fix it somehow
But how many times will it take, how many times will it take
To get it right,To get it right

----my best intention is to make things right between us. nothing more, nothing less. No matter how many times i said that "i'm a locked door.." but somehow, u've found the key to unlock it. I know, things doesn't went well between us, but i'm trying best, the best of me. If that's doesn't good enough, I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I just want you to understand that, I want to spend the rest of my life to be loved by you......

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm Sorry

Aku minta maaf, utk hati yg aku sakiti...
Aku minta maaf, utk semua kata-kata "jahat" yg keluar dari mulut aku...
Aku minta maaf, utk smua perkataan yg "beria-ia"
Aku minta maaf, utk semua hati yg aku sakiti...
Aku minta maaf, sebab terlalu kedekut memberi peluang....
Aku minta maaf, utk semua salah sangka dari aku...
Aku minta maaf, sbb terlalu "berhati-hati"....
Aku minta maaf, sbb hati terlalu keras utk aku terima kata maaf...

ketahuilah....aku ada sebab yg kukuh untuk semua itu....

Thursday, March 17, 2011

S . E . N . S . I . T. I . V . E

Sensitive?? Yes, i am sensitive. Its my nature. Tapi, my sesitivity level is under controlled. Aku kuat merajuk sebenarnya......this week only, aku berperang dengan emosi. Mana lagi hal anak, soal perasaan, kawan, kerja....semuanya bercampur aduk. pening.....dan kemuncaknya bila melibatkan soal anak. Poor Ariff.......

The most hurting part is, when org yg kita sayang, tidak ambil peduli keadaan kita masa tu..masih lagi boleh bergurau...masih lagi boleh bergembira dgn org lain....sakit hati bila tidak kena peduli......

Friday, March 11, 2011

Langit menangis

Lamanya aku tidak post apa2 dlm ruangan ni. suddenly, March is very "cruel" to me. i have been fighting with emotion dan betul2 mencabar mental aku untuk berfikir secara rasional dan waras. Well, i'm very rasional person. I tried my very hard to put my mind to stick together. i know its hard but nothing can beat God's decision. well, suddenly, i don't know how to react. suddenly, i dont know how to communicate with my brain. suddenly, i dont know how to put things to make it logical. everything seems...urrggghhh...i dont what the worst word to explain this situation. i hope everything is going to be fine...

Monday, February 28, 2011

10 Things I hate about you (or more)

I hate the way you show your temper
I hate when you use the bad words, cursing other people
I hate the name you give to my car -- *my-passo-vi*
I hate when you always have a short notice outstation
I hate when you wear your white shoes, you look like a gay in that shoes
I hate when you make fun of my favorite song
I hate when you always complaining my obsession towards happy ending love story
I hate when you copy my jokes and telling other people its your joke
I hate when you make fun to my Tiramisu story

----you know what I hate you the most ? --

I hate when you are always right, i hate when you always there, saving my ass from some jerks, I hate when you told me "don't" and I won't listen, then you will said to me "I told you so....."

Friday, February 18, 2011

i have 10 minutes!

Friday, January 14, 2011

hanya Tuhan yg tahu ku cinta kau

jika ada yang bilang ku lupa kau jangan kau dengar
jika ada yang bilang ku tak setia jangan kau dengar
jika ada yang bilang ku tak baik jangan kau dengar
jika ada yang bilang ku berubah jangan kau dengar
banyak cinta yang datang mendekat...ku menolak
semua itu kerna ku cinta kau...

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Classes will start next week. Tidak sabar rasanya mau teriak2 dalam kelas. I didn't mean to scare u, luaran jak tu. hehe! So, i was cleaning up my PC, susun satu folder last semesters. carry marks, test, quiz, i arranged accordingly.

Masa cleaning-cleaning tu, i saw 1 folder "sms that i liked so much". byk sms2 yg aku save dlm folder ni. well, saja transfer p pc, just in case my hp hilang, or kena format. a year ago, i received a few sms yg pelik. i did not know the once in a while, aku suka baca sms dia. lately, jarang suda dia sms. once in a month pun jarang. i don't want to know who is he or she (but i assumed its a HE...heheh) because it will ruin the excitement of receiving the sms.

"ingat kamu buat jantung saya berdebar-debar. Jumpa kamu, buat jantung saya berdebar-debar. Tidak jumpa kamu, pun buat jantung saya berdebar-debar. Tiap hari macam ni, buat saya sakit jantung, terus saya ingat mati. Lagilah saya berdebar-debar.." ---- i laugh out loud reading this one.

"KK hujan ka? sini mau hujan ni...mendung ja dari pagi. Matahari pun tidak nmpak. tapi saya tahu matahari ada. Macam kamu,saya tidak nampak kamu depan mata, tapi saya tahu kamu ada....di hati saya" ---- he such a sweet talker!!!

"Are you sleeping?? Did i awake you?? -- gossh! i just have a weird dream. i saw u walking down the aisle. Macam pernah tgok muka org yg menunggu kamu di sebelah sana. i recognize his smile. Damnn!! he took u from me!!!..opppsss, its me! its me! thats my smile...." ----- he's probably a lunatic! gila ni org. this sms i received in the middle of the night. i forgot to put my phone on silent mode.

it was an ancient history. I dont know who is this person. aku pun malas juga mau tanya siapa. like i said, it will ruin the whole surprises! to the person sending this sms-sms to me. thanks for making my day. one question, kenapa tidak hantar sms suda?? habis credit suda?? heheheh.....

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi

I let you go...and u gone together with the other half of me. Sorry. I think this is the best way......

Monday, January 10, 2011

2011, be nice to me :)

Touch it right? i seriously did not know where that phrase came from. Maybe from the commercial or advertisement i saw and i forgotten about it ;) well, this is my first post for 2011. I dont feel like writing actually. Don't get me wrong. my new year celebration was a blast. for the first time, i tried poco-poco and addicted to was amazing and exhausting but it was fun and interesting (for the first-timer like me..hehehe).

early this year also, i was admitted into an ER for being unconcious due to unbearable pain i experienced. i was driving that time, on the way back to kk. suddenly, my back was soooo painful and i could not tahan it. i pulled over, luckily my brother was with me, and he's the one who called for help. Tell u the truth, i'm ready to be "taken", i said my syahadah and i prayed that my mom, dad will forgive me, and hoping that they will take care of ariff. it was very painful and i cannot think other things but death. seriously. i was rushed to the ER. Blood, urine, heart, were examined. Fortunately, all tests were negative to any deasease. Alhamdulillah, but i still wondering why/what caused me that. Later, i know why. Mudahan2, Allah saja yg membalas semuanya.

so, 2011, i hope "you" will be nice to me. i promise, this year i will achieved something. thanks to all people around me for making what i am matter what u did to me, you hated me, you liked me, you loved me, you dumped me, --- u actually made me to move forward and pushed me to become a good person. so, to those people who involved, i dedicated this poem to you...urrmmm...i get this from someone actually :) i hope he don't mind i share it here...

~~ Thanks to those who hated me, you made me a stronger person.
~~ Thanks to those who loves me, you made my life wonderful
~~ Thanks to those who were worried about me, you let me know that u actually care about me.
~~ Thanks to those who left me, u made me realize that nothing lasts forever.
~~ Thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who i'm today.

thanks for everyone. let this year is the year for us to be successful.